In recent times, my journey has repeatedly led me to explore God’s love for me. I keep circling back to what most of us already know: ‘God’s love for us is unconditional’. Romans 8:31-39 tells us that “Nothing can separate us from God’s love”.

But what does that actually mean? What does that look like in our everyday lives?

I grew up ‘in church’ and in that season, that meant doing all the ‘right things’ to demonstrate that I was being a ‘good Christian’. Although I was very familiar with Romans 8:31-39, Christianity involved the adherence to a list of rules and regulations that allowed me to maintain my relationship with God.

In reality, it felt like I was completely responsible for my Christianity, and God was carefully looking on, all the while ready to dole out a punishment whenever I failed. Secretly, I also snubbed those who stumbled more often than I did. I pray that none of us are still living under those burdensome beliefs.

The truth is, God’s love really is without condition. In fact, He reaches to us when we’re afar off. “But God showed how much he loved us by having Christ die for us, even though we were sinful”, Romans 5:8. That verse yells ‘I love you’, and that’s the bottom line of Christianity.

While many of us don’t view God as the disciplinarian in the sky, subconsciously some of us still try to earn our salvation. We feel guilty and condemn ourselves when we oversleep instead of getting up early to pray, or if we get angry at the person who cut us off, etc. Is this true for you? Pause and consider how you might be trying to earn or deserve salvation. Think about the ways you may be practicing ‘performance’ Christianity.

God loves us so much that He sent Jesus to die, in order to make a path for us back to Himself. He also gave us the Holy Spirit who fills us with the power to be and do all He has called us to. We don’t need to stir Him up or draw Him close. Once we receive the gift, He’s already in us. What’s our responsibility in this? Believe and receive.

My diagnosis of stage 3 cancer, resulted in a drastic overhaul of my relationship with my Abba Father. I became more keenly aware of His presence and of how much He really loved me.

Chemotherapy did a serious number on me, and I felt like I was failing as a mother, a wife, and a Christ-follower, but God constantly wrapped me up in His embrace and reminded me that I was His, and I could trust Him to take care of everything. I experienced a love like no other, and it freed me to cease my performances and ‘just be’, “like the splendid field lilies that don’t work hard to clothe themselves….” Matthew 6:28.

I truly grasped the meaning of Philippians 2:13 which says, “For God is at work within you, helping you want to obey him, and then helping you do what he wants”. Even our desire to please God comes from God Himself. Christianity isn’t dependent upon us, it’s dependent upon our Abba Father.

During treatments, I was often too weak to do anything including, getting up early to pray and read my Bible. In those times, rising early didn’t seem necessary, because I spent every waking moment, and even some of my sleeping ones, keenly aware that He was there. I learned the art of “praying without ceasing” (1 Thes. 5:17). I was in constant communion with my Abba, and His presence was often overwhelming and comforting.

I had always been a very self-reliant and capable individual. I prided myself on my ability to accomplish whatever I set my mind to, and I held others to the same standard.

The absurdity of it all hit me when one of my students joyfully announced in the middle of a class, that he wanted to be a dinosaur when he grew up because his mom always told him that he could be and do anything, once he set his mind to it.

It wasn’t the ability to accomplish tasks that were absurd, but the thought of doing whatever ‘I’ set my mind to do, like becoming a dinosaur. That plan completely ignored God’s purpose for my life and put me in charge of my own trajectory.

During that time, God also taught me to “die to self daily”, and allow His life to be lived through me. “The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me”, Galatians 2:20b. Many people who were aware of my process commented about how well I was handling it, but if only they knew. Part ‘a’ of the same verse was fully operational in my life, “Yet not I, but Christ who lives in me….”,

I’ve learned that God sees my heart and knows that my desire is to please him. So I can relax and know that He will order my steps and direct my path so that it aligns with His will.

Right after receiving my diagnosis, God announced to me that I was not going to die, but that He would receive glory as a result of my cancer journey, and every other part of my life, from then on. Initially, I pondered how I was going to ensure that He was glorified through my sickness, but I learned over time that He was going to orchestrate the entire thing, and all I has to do was show up in belief.

Following Christ is no longer about me, but I’m learning daily to just live and be (believe), and the more I take the back seat and allow him to take charge and be God, the more in line with His purpose my life becomes.

When He instructs me to do or say something, like praying for a sick person, for example, I’m free to just obey, without worrying about the embarrassment that would result if the person isn’t healed, because it’s not on me. The responsibility is completely on Him. I’m just that vessel, filled with His Holy Spirit and available for His use. I constantly remind myself, “…not I but Christ….”

I want to encourage you to truly accept God’s unconditional love. To consciously stop performing Christianity. To decrease, so that He might increase and consume you as He empowers you to live His purpose.

God hasn’t revealed this to you today just for your benefit, but so that you could obey Jesus’ commission in Matthew 28:18a-19b, “…Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life….” I encourage you to share your freedom in Christ with those who are bound.

I pray Ephesians 3:18‭-‬19 over you, “May you be empowered to discover … the great magnitude of the astonishing love of Christ in all its dimensions. How deeply intimate and far-reaching is his love! How enduring and inclusive it is! Endless love beyond measurement that transcends our understanding—this extravagant love pours into you until you are filled to overflowing with the fullness of God!”
Amen!