I was born into an average size family and lived with both of my parents and my three siblings until I left home to go to college. I was always tall and lanky for my age, so I was an ideal target for my peers. I was called names like ‘Big Bird’ and ‘light pole’ and other horrible names that I don’t care to mention. I didn’t fit in with the other kids but always managed to have one good friend.

For many years my childhood experiences shaped my identity and I considered myself to be ugly and stupid, and although I did well in school, I always felt like a failure. My accomplishments were overshadowed by my low self-esteem, and I constantly compared myself to others. Once there were people around who I considered to be more successful than I, they would become my benchmarks, and when I got to what I thought was their level, I found other benchmarks. What crippled me the most though, were those instances when I knew that it was impossible to be like a specific person, but still measured myself against him or her. Those were setups for failure. I felt unloved because I told myself that I was unworthy of love, so I pushed people away, and compliments were like water on a duck’s back. The fear of failing sometimes prevented me from trying wholeheartedly. If I failed, I could tell myself that it was simply because I didn’t give it my all.

That’s my story, and some of the issues that helped to determine how I saw myself. I hated the way that I felt and didn’t want to be that way anymore, so “I cried out to God for help and He answered and helped me.” (Psalm 50:15) He first had to bathe me in His love and get into my heart what my head knew: ‘my Heavenly Father loves me’. I read Isaiah 43:1-7 almost every day for over a year, it says: “…don’t be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name: you are Mine…others died that you might live…because you are precious to Me…and I love you.” I also read Romans 8:15-16 repeatedly, it says: “behave …like God’s very own children, adopted into his family, calling Him “Father, dear Father.” For His Holy Spirit …tells us that we are God’s children….” It took years for me to begin to grasp the scope of the fact that God is my Father. I started to call God Daddy whenever I spoke with Him. A lot of people told me that it was disrespectful to address God as daddy, because it minimized His greatness, but at that time in my life I needed God to be my Daddy, not just the great big creator of the Universe. God became real to me and I conversed with Him throughout the day as though He was right there with me. God truly became my “Daddy” and I began to read His word to learn more about Him and find out what He thought of me.

I’ve learned that who I am, is determined by God’s word. Ladies, we are who God says we are. Our identities are determined by God‘s word, not by how we feel on a particular day, or what our family or friends call us, or what society thinks of us, or our looks, or the circumstances of our birth, or how much money we have, or our job descriptions, or our marital status. The truth is, we often allow these things to define who we are, because we don‘t really know who we are in Christ.

In Christ we are completely forgiven. When Christ hung on the cross He said “it is finished”. (John 19:30). He paid the complete price to ransom us. All we need to do to accept that forgiveness and say from our hearts, “Lord Jesus, I’m a sinner, please forgive me and become the Lord of my life.” Immediately we are forgiven and we become His child (John 3: 16). When the enemy brings guilt or shame from sins we have committed, we need to remember that Rom. 8:1 says “there is no condemnation for those who belong to Jesus Christ. For the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you…. “ In addition, God’s word says we are: “more than conquerors” (Rom. 8:37), “the head and not the tail” (Deut. 28:13), “the apple of his eye” (Zech. 2:8), “Blessed” (Deut. 7:14), “God’s very own possession” (1Peter 2:9), “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Ps. 139:14), “a friend of God” (John 15:15), “loved by God” (Rom. 8:16), successful (Deut. 30:9), wise (Eccl. 2:26).

Finally, we are complete in Him (Col. 2:10). Who we are, and all that we will ever be, is stated in Gods word. He says in Phil. 4:13 “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength“. His word also says “with God all things are possible”. (Matt. 19:26) So talk to God continuously (“pray without ceasing” 1 Thessalonians 5:17), and ask your Heavenly Father to teach you to view yourself through His eyes. Study God’s word, “meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do” (Joshua). Remember, you are a child of God, created by God your Heavenly Father, and He loves you.

Originally published on April 15th, 2007